Now

I need to make it. I need to be free. I need to be independant. I need to get out of this place.

And it needs to be...

...Now.

Want. Can. Should.

Porsches. Sun. Beaches. Girls. Houses. Admiration and Grandeur. All things Hollywood has conditioned us to desire. Ok, so that’s a tough goal. And sometimes, it feels like a lifetime just isn’t long enough to conquer all of that. But there must be a way - something to hold on to – to get you there.

What I’m more interested in right now though, is not conquering that in a lifetime, but fast-tracking it, and getting there soon. Very soon.

Yes this may stem from a serious and unyielding superiority complex I have going on. But there's a difference. I really am prepared to put every hour of every single day into something that I know can get me there. So that’s half the battle. The other half is coming up with, or getting involved in, an idea.

Recent attempts at promoting an idea have proved unsuccessful and while that doesn’t immediately indicate its failure, it doesn’t represent the initial boom that many successful businesses experience. Whether this is from poor execution of the idea or there just isn’t much active interest in it, I don’t know. As Jamie Cullum says, blame it on my youth. But as far as I’m concerned, figuring out what you want early is important, hard though it is.

What I do know from today though, is that walking into those decaying cunty jewish mother hotspots they call cheders is not something I want to do. Those are the type of institutions from my childhood that I dreaded waking up for and from the moment I walked through the door, I wanted to get out again. And I had to do that today, twice. Regardless, we coped and were nice about it. But these are the people we want to provide a service for, and ultimately get involved with? No thanks.

So there it is, I have to figure out what I actually do enjoy and maybe fit those pieces together to create a possible job.

Giving it some thought, I find that I enjoy – and in no particular order - the following:

Music

Driving

Gaming

Gym

Films that bring a smile to my face and television programs that make me stand up in awe.

Annoyingly, I have no particular skills in any of those.

So, feeling of the day:

Fucked.