Thoughts and revelations

"Don't worry about him, he's a sleazeball."

These were the words used yesterday to describe a friend of mine who, since the start of uni, has perpetually been getting girls. Yes its meaningless kisses and fondles, but kisses and fondles nonetheless. This is the part where i am supposed to say how i pride myself in not being the "sleazeball" which my friend was so delicately labelled as. But in the words of Jamie Foxx, and excuse my french: Fuck. That. Shit. It's university and it's time to prove to myself that it can be done, and stylishly. The fussiness and friendliness ends now, and its capability's turn to take a stand. That's all i have to say about that.

More seriously, i have recently had doubts about my selected course at university. These doubts have been seeded from the fact that i have actually found my more minor, less credited, subsidiary module a helluva lot more interesting than my core module. Unfortunately for me, this subsidiary lasts 10 weeks, and my core lasts 4 years. Not only this, but as a consequence, it has led me to doubt my life choice: ihaveabsolutelynoideawhatiwanttodobutiknowiwantittobefunandmoneymaking. Is this even real? or is this just the blue pill to Neo's red one of reality? But that's just it, question after question enters into my mind, with no-one else being eligible to answer except yours truly. The responsibility of having to answer your own questions is one that creeps up on you uncomfortably. It also enlightens you to the fact that being spoonfed in all your previous years was something not something to "take advantage of" necessarily, but at least something to have relished.

As i write this Jamie cullum sings the words "twenty first century kid, surrounded by illusion and confuuuuuusion." He could not be more right, and university, being the bubble it is, is all about deciphering what is reality, what is the future, and what may just be a memory. Unfortunately, i have yet to make all the classifications, and confusion is apparent. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, i don't think, and is most likely a necessary stage in any young adult's life. But it for sure is an awkward state of mind. A wise friend once said to me that starting university is all about "holding onto the things we find normal, but at the same time letting the new stuff in to our lives." And i think the case is exactly that. Albeit easier said than done.

Bob Dylan wasn't wrong: the times they are a-changin'.