Three days, two essays

This is the part where I am supposed to say: "Don't leave your work till the last minute."

Yeah, not happening.

First off, leaving work to the last minute is an essential part of a man's routine, as important as being able to tie a tie, or putting your washing just next to the basket for shits and gigs. It goes without question. Does it earn the title laddish? No. It's just that normal.

Laddish would be not doing the work and fucking your teacher for the grade instead. But that's a story for another time. Note: this does not count if your teacher has a cock

So, if you find yourself in the position I am currently in, where you have now one more day to give in two essays, with neither of them finished, there are a few steps that must be undertaken. Oh, and this doesnt mean an hour per essay. Im talking an acceptable A/B boundary standard.

Firstly, if you're in this position, give yourself a pat on the back. You are, without a doubt, a man. However, its not all great. You have a minimum amount of time to do a maximum amount of work. Just because you have a few days left, does not mean you can only do a few hours and say "screw it, im out of time." That is not an option. You've done the manly thing to leave it this late, now you have to sort it out like a man -> Get to it.

Secondly, be prepared to sacrifice all social hours, gaming hours, football hours and extra sleep if-i'm-unconscious-I-have-no-choice-but-to-not-do-the-work hours. Those days are over, until the deadline. If after the deadline passes and you still experience this sacrifice, seek medical help.

Thirdly, if it hasn't already been made clear, you need to spend the remaining time until the deadline doing the work. Yes, it sucks. But it's only temporary and it will be worth it. This means that you have to be absorbed by your desk, your laptop, your books, your red bulls, your energy tablets, whatever. I personally reckon that the energy shit is a joke but hey, do what you need to do to get those hours in. Either way, become one with the piece of work. Once fully absorbed, you will notice time fly, the quality of the essay much improve, and a feeling of great satisfaction. If this feeling could be combined with sex and COD, then you've conquered the world.

So get off your arse in and in your seat. Write that title, and do this thang. Until then, you as you know yourself, must cease to exist, while robot-self takes over.

But remember: if you start to enjoy it, you're no longer a man. You are in fact, a poooosaaaay

x